it's funny the things you think about as you watch your children grow.
you watch them undergo challenges, holding yourself back against the urge to take their little hand and help them.
you find yourself feeling left behind as those challenges become easier and they charge forward.
when i was growing up, i was lucky to have a sister 2 years older than me. i'm sure that it was harder being the big sister. she was left in charge of entertaining me. sometimes i felt as though she was put out by having to take me along to a friends, the little sister that was always in the way. but most of the time, my sister supported me, took my hand, and lead the way. she was always eager to teach me things that were now easier for her.
being the little sister, i was excited and eager to be with her. she knew so many things. she was so grown up. she had cool friends. she was nice to me. she supported me. i considered her my best friend.
i always wondered why my mom would make her let me tag along with her. was it because she wanted me out of her hair? probably, at least partly. was it because she didn't want to arrange a play date with someone my own age? maybe, although there were very few kids my age. was it a cave in to the fit i was throwing? another big probably.
i pondered why, as i grew, as i began my own family. why did my mom encourage my sister to take me along?
now that i have two children, i can see why.
unlike my relationship with my sister, my children are over three years apart. they have obvious differences, boy vs girl. they do not share a room as my sister and i did. they do not share the same toys.
although they have distinct differences, they still need the encouragement to be together and build a relationship.
when chase was younger, crawling and putting everything in his mouth, we grew accustomed to bayli's door always being closed. now, she still tries to keep him out. placing chairs behind the door. screaming, yelling, and slamming doors to keep him away. yet chase, through his tears and heartache, still tries to break into her personal space. he loves her kitchen and polly pockets. he loves to sit on her big bed and little chairs. he loves to follow and be with her.
it has been a hard transition for bayli, to let him into her room/world. to share her big kid/girly toys with him. and there is still a long road ahead. but, i am determined to make their relationship grow. to see her teach and lead him. to encourage a friendship to last all time.
my mom was a little sister once too. she has a sister that she has a wonderful relationship with. she knows the bonds that come with hard work and encouragement. the lasting friendship and reward. she taught it to me and my sister.
now i must teach it to my children. one step at a time.